february 29: to be honest, i just want you to know i love you

To be honest, when I first thought of doing the february project, I just thought “cool name! good idea… let’s go!” Then it wasn’t until I saw this picture that I realized what the february project was about.

I knew that my last post for february had to be something really special. And this picture just kind of solidified the idea that underlying this was a month-long love letter to my guy. The february project has basically portrayed what I feel are the ups and downs and hints and thank yous of a relationship, that I may or may not have been able to say. I don’t think I would have opted to do the february project if I weren’t in such a happy contented place.

I’m a strong believer in healthy relationships (I mean, seriously. Who isn’t?) but I would never be preaching (like I am now :s Apologies!) if it weren’t for the fact that I’m with a solidly great guy. 

Let me tell you about him. I’ve never quite felt what a supportive relationship this was until he came along… He feeds my creativity and pushes me to pursue the type of art I want to get better at, like photography, and supports the mediums I use as outlets. Bit by bit, he’s slowly adding to my camera collection (which has grown so much I haven’t even be able to fully use them all! Especially this very awesome Lomokino Moviemaker he’s gotten me that I’ve fallen in love with and still don’t quite know how to use perfectly yet!). And blogging! He sends me zipped files upon zipped files of photos I can use for this blog or my tumblr and scolds me if he feels that I’ve been neglecting my blog. He cheers the number of hits I get and the subscribers who have signed on. He’s the first, last and most constant person who wants me to treat myself because he feels I work too hard and thinks that I should treat myself every chance I get. He’s the only person I would allow to order for me in his favorites restaurants because 1) I know he’s aiming for the perfect experience, and 2) he’ll order something I want anyway.  He’s the kind of guy who, when your Macbook is in the shop ( like it is now :( ), will download a week’s worth of your favorite shows even if he wouldn’t watch them if you paid him. He’ll wake up early and drive you to the airport on a Sunday because you don’t have a ride and he’ll wake you up with a call to tell you that he’s just left his house to pick you up for Muay Thai then scare the beejeezus out of you when he opens your door 2 seconds later. When you have early work trips that need you out of the house by 4 or 5am, which is like the death knell to a night person like myself, he’ll groggily give you a call to wake you up. He’s the first person I think about and send a message to in the morning and the last person I talk to before I go to sleep at night. He makes me silly, which is not as easy as it looks considering I’m a fairly serious person with a serious ten year plan ahead of me.

I read back the description and realized that to an unbiased person, he sounds like a pushover. And he is definitely not. He’s the one person who can really rile me up and light my fuse, but also that one person who keeps me in check and teaches me how to manage my temper when it comes to other people. And in the middle of a heated argument, reminds me of one of the best qualities of myself, that I can consider someone else’s side and realize they are more in the right than I am, even if I come out the loser.

I’m in a happy and contented place because I’ve gone back to being more sure about myself than I have been in a while. This relationship kind of amplified me in more ways than I can count. I am affectionate, annoying, admittedly selfish and dense, cheesy, unfunny, nerdy, a bookworm, an introvert and it’s fine (or usually is!). I’m a bundle of imperfections which he had to get used to… and he’s done quite a good job at that.

I know I’ve been remiss in appreciating him quite a few times… and there are many things that still need to be worked on. But I hope you know how much I love you and adore you and I hope it will be a long while yet for us.